When your parents call you,
Answer them right away.
When they command you to do something,
Do it quickly.
When your parents instruct you,
Listen respectfully.
When your parents reproach you,
Obey and accept their reproach; try hard to change and improve yourself and start anew.
In the winter, keep them warm,
In the summer, keep them cool.
Greet them in the morning to show them that you care,
At night be sure that they rest well.
Before going out, tell your parents where you are going, as parents are always concerned about their children.
After returning home, see your parents and let them know you are back, so they do not worry about you.
Have a permanent place to stay and lead a routine life,
Persist in whatever you do and do not change your aspirations at will.
Although a matter may be considered trivial, but if it is wrong to do it or unfair to the other person,
Do not do it thinking it will bear little or no consequence.(4)
If you do,
You are not being a dutiful child because parents do not want to see their child doing things that are irrational or illegal.
Even though an object may be small,
Do not hoard it.
If you do,
Your parents will be heartbroken.(5)
Whatever pleases your parents, if it is fair and reasonable,
Try your best to get it for them.(6)
Whatever displeases your parents, if within reason,(7)
Cautiously keep it away from them.
When your body is hurt,
Your parents will be worried.
If your virtues(8) are compromised,
Your parents will feel ashamed.
When you have loving parents,
It is not difficult to be a dutiful child.
If you parents hate you and
You are still dutiful to them, only then will it meet the standard of the saints and sages for being a dutiful child.
When your parents do wrong,
Urge them to change.
Do it with a kind facial expression
And a warm gentle voice.
If they do not accept your advice,
Wait until they are in a happier mood before you dissuade them again,
Followed by crying to make them understand why.
Do not hold a grudge against them if they resort to whipping you.(9)
When your parents are ill,
Taste the medicine first before giving it to them.(10)
Take care of them night and day,
Do not leave their bedside.
During the first three years of mourning after they passed away,
Remember them with gratitude and often feel sad for not being able to repay them for their kindness in raising you.
During this period you should arrange your home to reflect your grief and sorrow,
Avoid festivities and indulgence in foods and alcoholic drinks.
Observe the proper etiquette(11) in arranging their funerals,
Hold the memorial ceremony and commemorate their anniversaries with your utmost sincerity.
Serve your departed parents
As if they were still alive.
related post: Chapter 2 – Standards for Being a Younger Brother When Away from Home
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(4) For example, in Buddhism it is considered breaking the precept of not stealing if you borrow a piece of paper or take someone's pen without permission. It is considered breaking the precept of not killing if you kill an ant or mosquito. If you lie or talk about someone behind his back, you have broken the precept of not lying, ect.
(5) Your parents will be saddened by your actions because if their child behaves in such a way when he is still young, then he will probably twist the law in order to obtain bribes and be a curse to his country and his people when he grows up.
(6) If what pleases your parents is illegitimate or is unreasonable, you should tactfully dissuade your parents and tell them the reasons why they should not have it.
(7) You should lead your parents to proper views and understanding of things.
(8) Virtues are standards and principles of one's conduct. In China a man's conduct is ruled by "Wu Chang" 五常 and 八德 "Ba De". "Wu Chang" are the five moral principles and they are kindheartedness 仁， personal loyalty 义，proper etiquette 礼，wisdom 智， and trustworthiness 信. "Ba De" are the eight virtues and they are duty to parents 孝，respect for elders 悌，loyalty 忠，credibility 信，proper etiquette 礼，personal loyalty 义，a sense of honor 廉 and a sense of shame 耻.
(9) In ancient China when a child would not obey the parents, the parents were allowed to discipline the child. If a child refused to be disciplined, the parents had the right to ask the authority to have the child executed.
(10) Chinese people take herbal medicine prescribed by Chinese doctors. Herbs are boiled with water to make a liquid medicine, Before giving such medicine to one's parents, a child should taste it first to make sure it is not too hot or bitter.
(11) In ancient China, etiquette for the funeral was set by the emperor.
Source Of Information:
《Standards for Being a Good Student and Child》, translated by Pure Land Learning College Translation Association, printed in August 2012, distributed by Amitabha Buddhist Society Malaysia (92, Jalan Pahang, 53300 Gombak, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
*** The information provided above does not contain personal opinion of this blog.
