Chapter 3 – Be Cautious in Your Daily Life

Get up in the morning before your parents,

At night, go to bed only after they have gone to sleep. 

When you realize that time is passing you by and cannot be turned back, and that you are getting older year by year, 

You will especially treasure the present moment.(18)

Wash you face when you get up in the morning, 

And brush your teeth. 

After using the toilet, 

Always wash your hands.

You must wear your hat straight,(19)

And make sure the hooks(20) of your clothes are tied. 

Make sure socks and shoes 

Are neatly and correctly worn.

Place your hat and clothes away 

In their proper place. 

Do not carelessly throw your clothes around, 

For that will get them dirty.

It is more important that your clothes are clean, 

Rather than how extravagant they are. 

When with an elder or people of importance, wear what is suitable for your station. 

At home, wear clothes according to your family traditions and customs.

When it comes to eating and drinking, 

Do not pick and choose your food. 

Eat only the right amount;

Do not over-eat.

You are still too young, 

Do not drink alcohol. 

When you are drunk, 

Your behavior will turn ugly.

Walk composed, with light and even steps. 

Stand up straight and tall. 

Your bows should be deep, with hands held in front and arms rounded. 

Always pay your respect with reverence.(21)

Do not step on doorsills.

Do not stand leaning on one leg. 

Do not sit with your legs apart or sprawled out. 

Do not rock the lower part of your body while sitting down.

Lift the curtain slowly,(22)

Do not make a sound.

Leave yourself room when you turn,

Make sure you do not bump into a corner.

Hold carefully empty containers 

As if they were full.(23) 

Enter empty rooms as if 

They were occupied.(24)

Avoid doing things in a hurry, 

As doing things in haste will lead to many mistakes. 

Do not be afraid of difficult tasks, 

But do not become careless when a job is too easy.

Keep away from rowdy places,

And do not ask about things that are abnormal or unusual.

When you are about to enter a main entrance, 

Ask if someone is inside. 

Before entering a room, 

Make yourself heard so that those inside know someone is approaching.

If someone asks who you are,

Give your name. 

To answer `It is me’ or `Me’ 

Is not clear.

Before borrowing things from others, 

You must ask for permission. 

If you do not ask, 

It is stealing.

When borrowing things from others, 

Return them promptly. 

Later on, when you have an urgent need,

You will not have a problem borrowing from them again.

related post:  Chapter 4 – Be Trustworthy
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(18) There is an old Chinese proverb: "A unit of time is as precious as a unit of gold, but you cannot buy back one unit of time with one unit of gold". It means that time is precious, and a person cannot buy time with money.

(19) Guan "冠" means hat. In ancient China when a male wore a hat, it meant he had passed the age of becoming an adult.

(20) In ancient China, in place of buttons, people used hooks. When dressed, hooks had to be tied.

(21) Bai "拜" means paying respect. In ancient China, people paid their respect to other people by bowing, holding one hand over the other which is closed, or prostrating on the ground.

(22) In ancient China, the curtain was made of bamboo strips woven together. They were used to shelter a room from view.

(23) Even though a container may be empty, out of reverence to things, whether living or not, one should treat it with respect and handle it with care.

(24) In ancient China a virtuous man always behaved properly, regardless of whether he was alone or with others.

Source Of Information:
《Standards for Being a Good Student and Child》, translated by Pure Land Learning College Translation Association, printed in August 2012, distributed by Amitabha Buddhist Society Malaysia (92, Jalan Pahang, 53300 Gombak, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
*** The information provided above does not contain personal opinion of this blog.

Chapter 2 – Standards for Being a Younger Brother When Away from Home

Older sibling should befriend the younger ones,

Younger sibling should respect and love the older ones.

Siblings who keep harmonious relationships among themselves,

Are being dutiful to their parents.(12)

When siblings value their ties more than property and belongings, 

No resentment will grow among them.

When siblings are careful with words and hold back hurtful comments, 

Feelings of anger naturally die out.

Whether you are drinking, eating, 

Walking, or sitting, 

Let elders go first,

Younger ones should follow.

When the elder is asking for someone, 

Get that person for him right away. 

If you cannot find that person, 

Immediately report back and instead put yourself at the elder’s service.

When you address an elder, 

Do not call him by his given name,(13) this is in accord with ancient Chinese etiquette. 

In front of an elder, 

Do not show off.

If you meet an elder you know on the street, 

Promptly clasp your hands and greet him with a bow. 

If he does not speak to you, 

Step back and respectfully stand aside.

If an elder you know is on foot while you are riding on a horse,(14) you should dismount and pay respect to the elder.

If you are riding in a carriage,(15) you should stop, get out of the carriage and ask if you can give him a ride. 

If you meet an elder passing by, you should stand aside and wait respectfully,

Do not leave until you can no longer see him.

When an elder is standing, 

Do not sit. 

After an elder sits down, 

Sit only when you are told.

Before an elder, 

Speak softly. 

If your voice is too low and hard to hear, 

It is not appropriate.

When meeting an elder, walk briskly towards him,

When leaving, do not exit in haste. 

When answering a question, 

Look at the person who is asking you the question.

Serve your uncles

As if you are serving your parents;(16)

Treat your cousins

As if they are your own siblings.(17)

related post:  Chapter 3 – Be Cautious in Your Daily Life
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(12) Parents are happy when their children are getting along with each other. This is one of children's ways of showing they are dutiful to their parents.

(13) In ancient China, a male person had at least two names. The first name was the "given name", which was given to him by his parents when he was born. A second name was given to him by his friends when he reached the age of 20 at a "Ceremony of the Hat" given in his honor to announce his coming of age. After that only his parent called him by his "given name". Everyone else, out of respect, including the emperor, could only call him by his second name. The only exception was if he committed a crime. During sentencing he would be called by his "given name".

(14) In ancient China, most people used horses or carriages as their means of transportation.

(15) See note 14.

(16) See note 2.

(17) See note 2.

Source Of Information:
《Standards for Being a Good Student and Child》, translated by Pure Land Learning College Translation Association, printed in August 2012, distributed by Amitabha Buddhist Society Malaysia (92, Jalan Pahang, 53300 Gombak, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
*** The information provided above does not contain personal opinion of this blog.

Chapter 1 – At Home, Be Dutiful to Your Parents

When your parents call you, 

Answer them right away. 

When they command you to do something, 

Do it quickly.

When your parents instruct you,

Listen respectfully. 

When your parents reproach you, 

Obey and accept their reproach; try hard to change and improve yourself and start anew.

In the winter, keep them warm,

In the summer, keep them cool. 

Greet them in the morning to show them that you care,

At night be sure that they rest well.

Before going out, tell your parents where you are going, as parents are always concerned about their children. 

After returning home, see your parents and let them know you are back, so they do not worry about you.

Have a permanent place to stay and lead a routine life,

Persist in whatever you do and do not change your aspirations at will.

Although a matter may be considered trivial, but if it is wrong to do it or unfair to the other person, 

Do not do it thinking it will bear little or no consequence.(4)

If you do, 

You are not being a dutiful child because parents do not want to see their child doing things that are irrational or illegal.

Even though an object may be small, 

Do not hoard it.

If you do, 

Your parents will be heartbroken.(5)

Whatever pleases your parents, if it is fair and reasonable, 

Try your best to get it for them.(6)


Whatever displeases your parents, if within reason,(7)

Cautiously keep it away from them.

When your body is hurt, 

Your parents will be worried. 

If your virtues(8) are compromised, 

Your parents will feel ashamed.

When you have loving parents, 

It is not difficult to be a dutiful child.

If you parents hate you and

You are still dutiful to them, only then will it meet the standard of the saints and sages for being a dutiful child.

When your parents do wrong,

Urge them to change. 

Do it with a kind facial expression 

And a warm gentle voice.

If they do not accept your advice, 

Wait until they are in a happier mood before you dissuade them again, 

Followed by crying to make them understand why. 

Do not hold a grudge against them if they resort to whipping you.(9)

When your parents are ill, 

Taste the medicine first before giving it to them.(10)

Take care of them night and day,

Do not leave their bedside.

During the first three years of mourning after they passed away, 

Remember them with gratitude and often feel sad for not being able to repay them for their kindness in raising you. 

During this period you should arrange your home to reflect your grief and sorrow,

Avoid festivities and indulgence in foods and alcoholic drinks.

Observe the proper etiquette(11) in arranging their funerals,

Hold the memorial ceremony and commemorate their anniversaries with your utmost sincerity.

Serve your departed parents 

As if they were still alive.

related post: Chapter 2 – Standards for Being a Younger Brother When Away from Home
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(4) For example, in Buddhism it is considered breaking the precept of not stealing if you borrow a piece of paper or take someone's pen without permission. It is considered breaking the precept of not killing if you kill an ant or mosquito. If you lie or talk about someone behind his back, you have broken the precept of not lying, ect.

(5) Your parents will be saddened by your actions because if their child behaves in such a way when he is still young, then he will probably twist the law in order to obtain bribes and be a curse to his country and his people when he grows up.

(6) If what pleases your parents is illegitimate or is unreasonable, you should tactfully dissuade your parents and tell them the reasons why they should not have it.

(7) You should lead your parents to proper views and understanding of things.

(8) Virtues are standards and principles of one's conduct. In China a man's conduct is ruled by "Wu Chang" 五常 and 八德 "Ba De". "Wu Chang" are the five moral principles and they are kindheartedness 仁， personal loyalty 义，proper etiquette 礼，wisdom 智， and trustworthiness 信. "Ba De" are the eight virtues and they are duty to parents 孝，respect for elders 悌，loyalty 忠，credibility 信，proper etiquette 礼，personal loyalty 义，a sense of honor 廉 and a sense of shame 耻.

(9) In ancient China when a child would not obey the parents, the parents were allowed to discipline the child. If a child refused to be disciplined, the parents had the right to ask the authority to have the child executed.

(10) Chinese people take herbal medicine prescribed by Chinese doctors. Herbs are boiled with water to make a liquid medicine, Before giving such medicine to one's parents, a child should taste it first to make sure it is not too hot or bitter.

(11) In ancient China, etiquette for the funeral was set by the emperor.

Source Of Information:
《Standards for Being a Good Student and Child》, translated by Pure Land Learning College Translation Association, printed in August 2012, distributed by Amitabha Buddhist Society Malaysia (92, Jalan Pahang, 53300 Gombak, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
*** The information provided above does not contain personal opinion of this blog.